It's no secret that being a mom is hard and sometimes the things that come out of my mouth have me thinking "what the heck did I just say?" I almost can't even believe some of the situations I find myself in as a mom of two boys. Some days it's comical and others I'm just hanging on for dear life to make it to bedtime.
Before I had kids I was a preschool teacher and I said my fair share of "Get that crayon out of your mouth" or "Hands are for helping not for hurting" and my favorite "criss cross apple sauce!" But I had no idea what was in store for me with the wild ride that is motherhood.
I've said some crazy stuff in my life but nothing prepared me for the awesome one-liners I spew as a mom. In my 8 years of motherhood, these are the 20 that stand out the most.
1. "Stop peeing on your brother!"
2. "Why did you lick him?"
3. "No you can't hide in the trash can"
4. "Get your hand out of your pants!"
5. "Please stop biting your toenails, it's not something people do."
6. "Where are your pants?"
7. "Why is this wet?"
8. "Is that poop or chocolate?"
9. "Stop sitting on my face."
10. "Screw it, have ice cream for dinner."
11. "Boogers are not food."
12. "Why are you naked?"
13. "Stop touching my boobs."
14. "No we can't just throw away your homework and tell your teacher it was stolen."
15. "I'm in the bathroom leave me alone!"
16. "Don't eat the wrapper."
17. "Stop taking off your diaper!"
18. "Are you naked again?"
19. "OMG just stop talking!"
20. "Ugh, I love you so much it hurts!"
Any of these sound familiar? If they do, you're probably a mom.
Bessy Barbeite lives in South Florida with her husband and their two sons, David (8) and Jacob (6). When she's not writing or blogging, Bessy enjoys scrolling social media to keep up with the latest news and watching Netflix.