It happens all too often. Our family walking through the store or park and someone stops us. Sometimes we are so shocked we don’t even know what to say to some of the ridiculous things we have heard about the gender of our children. I could see that it was really bothering my husband. It was bothering me too but since most comments were directed towards him I knew that it was starting to take its toll.
Finally, after years of biting his tongue, my husband decided to speak out. This is his letter to girl dads everywhere.
I'm a father of three beautiful little ladies who think that I am their super hero.
What they don't know is that they are the heroines, and they have made me a better man.
It's both an honor and a privilege to father little girls. I wouldn't have it any other way. I am a girl dad and proud.
Some say that I've gone soft, that I'm surrounded by too much estrogen, that I need try for "that boy", but they would be wrong!
They must not know a daughters love.
Couldn't have trusted womanly intuitions.
Never admired their inner beauty.
Marveled at their strengths.
Witnessed their superhuman abilities during labor.
Experienced their nurturing touch.
Trusted their motherly instincts.
Heard their compassion or remembered their unselfish love.
I'm not changing, I'm evolving and the women in my life are the reasons why.
Maybe it is not only having daughters that has changed me, but the bond I share with these three special little people. The love I have for them is like no other. The confidence I have in them is like no pride I've ever felt. The hope they have given me is the breath of fresh air I've been longing for. This rebirth comes from a new-found admiration for females and an ultimate respect for their being.
I'm not downplaying man or discounting our attributes, but simply applauding the exceptional abilities of women.
I experienced the same awe by watching my mother, but was muted by testosterone and a blind society.
Example was ever present in my wife, but I was guarded by stereotypes and expectations.
Now it all seems clear to me as the fear has dissipated.
I know that these girls were sent to me for a reason and it has taken some time to realize that. I know now that I was not to understand right away, but to revel in its complexities. The best things in life never come easy.
I now know that I have been gifted three blessings from God and offered great advantage going forward.
Over the past four years I have become a more well rounded human being. I've become a better man, more in tune with my emotions. A better husband and father, more patient and more kind.
I have evolved as a man and a human being.
I require hugs and cuddles so much more than ever before.
I'm much more comfortable in my masculinity, just far less into sports and drinking beer.
I'm closer to God.
I'm more thankful for life, and I'm happier than I've ever been.
All of these things come from the warmth of three little hearts and through the strength of these women in my life that will forever change me and our world.
So if you see me out, sitting and talking with these three precious girls, please don't feel sorry for me. Don't stop me and say "what have you done in your previous life to deserve this?" (yes this has happened to me). These girls are not a curse, they are a blessing and when you make comments like this, as innocent as it may seem, you are reinforcing the huge stereotypes that are still in place in today's society. That a true man couldn't be happy with just daughters. Keep your "poor guy is outnumbered" and "maybe one day you will get that boy" to yourself. It's not funny or cute. My hope is that by the time my girls are old enough to realize the severity of these words people will realize what it really means, basically these words imply my girls aren't good enough for me. What you don't realize is, not only are they good for me, but they make me a better man.
I am so ready for the journey ahead and shudder with anticipation to get to know them more as they grow into the strong women they are going to be. One day these girls will take over the world by transforming it into a more loving, kind, patient, and beautiful place for us all to live. I'm certain they will face many challenges, I am no longer naive to think that there won't be hurdles in their way. I have changed. I am committed to following them into this changing world and supporting them wholeheartedly in whatever aspirations they have.
I'm prepared to fight alongside them for equality and allow them the opportunity not yet set before them. My passions now lie in them and their future.
Diana Blinkhorn is a blogger and maker of messy haired baby girls living in the beautiful city of Tampa Bay, Florida. She is passionate about empowering women and finding joy in the little things. You can connect with her through her blog, The Gray Ruby Diaries.