What is it about a pregnancy test? Suddenly the very thought makes me feel like a crazy person and sends me into a spiral of anxiety!
I am a mom of three girls and all of them were planned pregnancies. Our last one took me by surprise only because we were on the fence for so long.
Well, after a recent pregnancy scare, I knew I had to finally write about it all!
The very first time I took a pregnancy test I was pregnant! The awe I felt seeing those two pink lines for the very first time was the best feeling! Since this was our first, my husband and I were unsure if we could conceive. We are very grateful we can and fortunately never encountered any problems.
Are you seeing where this is going and how all of this fuels my anxiety?
1. The very first time I took a pregnancy test it was positive and really since then, it’s been positive!
2. We are fertile Mertile's!
3. My hubby’s certain, ahem, snip appointment is still on the books too.
So what is it? What is the anxiety besides these three things? OMG, I really don’t know? Truly, I was hoping after sharing this it would help me out!
Ok, if I’m being honest which I do always pride myself to be. Maybe it is self-doubt and the slight possibility I really do want another baby? Yikes, that last bit was hard to admit because I thought I was complete. God only knows and all of my babies are beautiful blessings.
Last month about a week before my usual aunt Rosie visit, I totally thought I was experiencing pregnancy symptoms. All the usual, like feeling tired, queasy, like really queasy, and I swear I had a bump! I headed right down to crazy town taking a test about every day, then every other day. I just could not wait and I had to know!
My period came right on schedule and even though I was freaking out for a week I was kinda disappointed. My hubby and I talk about everything and he knows about all of it. Since then, we joke about finally having a boy but I really don’t think we will at this point. Three is what we can handle I believe unless there is something we both don't know! Until we make things final with some sort of surgery I do fear I will be caught in a loop of anxiety wondering all too often if we are pregnant.
Can any of you ladies or mama's relate? I would love to hear your thoughts. Have you experienced this too?
Nicole is a wifey married to the love of her life, mama of three girls, saved by grace and hopes to share a little here and there about her beautiful mess and everything in between!